A Load Of Bullocks (1989)

A Load Of Bullocks

1980s comedy about three idiots and their failed quest to make people believe they're funny.

Starring

Eddie Fleetwood, Tim Jokl, Ben Ranson
 

co-stars

Jonathan Lumb, Stuart Ingham, Paul Schofield, Benny Williams
Anna The Poodle, Holly The Barrel
- and -
Peter Lloyd Martin as Kid On Bike
 

Available on VHS or video CD $15 US / £10 UK
Orders to bullocks@nearstars.com.

Exclusive Clips!

Congratulations on renting this video
"Congratulations on renting this video."
Eddie introduces the festivities in inimitably stupid fashion.
0.1MB 0:04s
...small boys, with firm nubile buttocks
"...small boys, with firm nubile buttocks."
Pompous Old-Fart orates another of his bedtime poems.
1.5MB 1:04s
Oo, I wish you wouldn't do that when you come in!
"Oo, I wish you wouldn't do that when you come in!"
Husband Tim introduces a stain problem to housewife Ben.
2.8MB 0:47s
Not today, thank you!
"Not today, thank you!"
Housewife Ben gives Waz Salesman Eddie the brush off. CAUTION! Contains graphic scenes of body dismemberment.
0.4MB 0:13s
Excuse me sir, but have you heard of Waz
"Excuse me sir, but have you heard of Waz?"
A revolutionary hijack of a television station is momentarily halted by the arrival of a top scientist from Waz.
1.0MB 0:37s
Keith Smith Ben
"Over 600 to choose from - it's fookin' ace, i'nt'it?"
Ben is Keith Smith , owner of self-drive and hire caravans, presenting his own advertisement. PARENTAL ADVISORY! Keith Smith employs frequent use of obscene language.
0.8MB 0:21s
Keith Smith Eddie
"They'd piss all over them anyway."
Keith Smith is back! This time incarnated by Eddie, who supplies his usual surrealist angle on caravan sales.
0.6MB 0:15s
Keith Smith Tim
"He's got the biggest cock in The North, and you won't mistake it! Right!"
Tim gives the final word on who Keith Smith really is. The definitive version.
0.8MB 0:16s
Mr Lumb On a Bicycle
"Hello! Have you got it on..."
Feature length version of Mr Lumb's journey around the garden on a bicycle, in which more budget was blown on the titles than the shoot.
1.0MB 0:41s
Aunty Benny 1
"What is our society coming to, eh?"
TV Agony aunt and call-in show host Aunty Benny deals with a fictional obscene phone caller, only to have a genuine call come in during the shoot.
0.8MB 0:45s
Aunty Benny 2
"Let me try!"
Peter Lloyd-Martin as Kid On Bike in his famous stunt piece.
2.1MB 0:22s
Aunty Benny 3
"Clean the grass out of the mowing-machine, ensuring that the machine is not switched on at any time during the cleaning operation."
Top-tips pundit Reg Knobhead shows how not to clean out a mower with some ordinary household sellotape.
2.1MB 0:22s
Eat at Eddies!
"EAT AT EDDIES!"
"A Must See!" - Variety Magazine.
4.6MB 1:44s
Ploppy
"Benji, you piece of shit! Do you wanna get me the fucking sack?"
Ploppy, not as an actor, takes it out on the Browneye Witness investigative news team.
0.2MB 0:11s
Julian F. Knobcheese
"Overly-sized vibrators."
Proctologist Julian F. Knobcheese, in an interview with Ben, gives his view on anal problems in the modern fast-food world.
2.9MB 1:51s